My lack of blogging has got me to thinking that I should expand upon my blog and include a bit more variety. Maybe I’ll venture into topics of discussion that really peak my curiosity or rustle a nerve. Quite possibly even venture into food reviews and anything else that I think could be remotely interesting. With blogging the possibilities are practically endless and you have your own clean canvas to write about whatever your heart’s desire.
These past two months have been a very trying time for me. I have been very ill and admitted to the hospital several times. Quite honestly, I don’t think I have been this ill since when I was a little girl dealing with all the obstacles my disability threw in my way. It is hard not feeling up to par. It’s even harder when all you feel like you do is bitch and complain. To state my point, guess what, I’m in the hospital again! Add that as item #32 on my bitch and complain list.
There are so many other hard things going on in my life right now that seem to keep stressing me out. My husband and I are trying to achieve something, but have been unsuccessful. We are hoping that this month will be our happy month and our dream will finally come true. It’s so hard, especially for someone like me, to not have complete control of a situation. I like control. It’s like you try so hard for something that seems so easy for other people to achieve, yet you just can’t get there. Sure you’ve gotten there once, but that ended in heartache before the happiness could even begin. I guess we can only continue to pray and hope that our dream will come true.
This blog is pretty much all over the place – I blame the pain medicines. I hope that when my mind becomes less foggy, I can provide more quality posts. Possibly more gushing over cheese? Who doesn’t love cheese?
Freezing. Yes, you heard me right! I have been freezing my precious ass off for over a week. I am not used to this weather at all. If I am forced to live in temperatures that are less than 20 degrees, at least you think I’d get some snow. I could then at least make a snowman or have a snowball fight or do something! What can I do with cold weather, but no snow? Raise my heating/electric bill?
Onto a happier subject, Christmas is quickly approaching. I love this time of year – all the pretty lights, festive trees, and yummy goodies. However, heading to your local Wal-Mart is a task because you are surrounded by a mass of crazy Christmas shoppers. It only seems to get worse as December 25th quickly approaches.
Maybe I’ll have something more usual to blog about later, but for now I’m going to go curl up in my bed with the heated blanket on. This has become my nightly ritual this week!
When you lose someone special in your life, people act like they can relate to you. They say things that think you’d want to hear. They tell you that your loved one wouldn’t you to feel like that or how things will get better. They tell you how you “should” feel or how you “should” react.
People can sit there as much as they want and tell you these things and maybe they mean good, but it doesn’t help. These people will not understand the horrible pain that you feel until they themselves have been in your shoes and have lost their father, mother, etc.
Sure maybe these people in your life mean well, but sometimes you just want to tell them to shut up. When things like this happen in your life, this is when you ultimately realize who the true people are in your life. You realize who your true friends are. Which one of your friends would drop everything to be by your side at 3am when you’re crying? Which friend will pick you up off the floor after a night of drinking because you had to escape the horrible thoughts in your head and the pain in your heart?
In 2006 I lost my mom and it was the most horrible experience in my life. To sit there helpless, waiting what seemed like an eternity for the paramedics to arrive. Watching my mother die before my eyes and praying to God to not take her – that it just wasn’t her time. The tears streaming down my eyes as the paramedics tried to resuscitate her in front of my eyes, then finally rushing her to the hospital. Only to get to the hospital and be taken to that room and hearing your worst nightmare come true.
What has prompted me to write all this? A good friend of mine recently experienced a loss of someone in her life. I would post her link, but I don’t know if she would want me to broadcast her situation to the world. It just has made me think so much lately of how people try to treat you after you lose a loved one.
My words of advice…. If you don’t know how to deal with the situation at hand and you are a friend of someone who has lost a loved one, please don’t sit there and say that you “understand.” You will never “understand” until you’ve walked in that persons shoes or lost a very close loved one. You just need to be there to support them and listen to them. Don’t judge. Just be there.
This is just more of an informative type blog post. Not all Top Secret blog posts will have the same passwords. Some will be very private and only a few, and I do mean a select few, will get the password. If I don’t give you the password, please don’t take offense, it’s not personal. I probably just feel that you would judge me on what I wrote or not agree with my view. Thanks!
Only two more days until the weekend! I am so tired and stressed out this week that I just can’t wait until the weekend is here for my mind to vegetate. Oh wait, that probably won’t happen though, since I have to work on my financial statements for my Managerial Accounting class. It is fun stuff, I kid you not!
I’m also in the process of trying to get our house in some semblance of order. I am still trying to organize closets, put stuff away, and all that other fun stuff that everyone knows I adore so very much. I wish I had the desire to clean and organize all day long – to be one of those orderly people. Maybe someday I’ll develop that skill.
Loading ...
I’ve decided that I am going to start to do password protected entries, like Mrs. Black Banana. That way I can be more open about what I write and not have to censor myself as much. If you would like the password, please comment here. Thanks.
Older Posts »
10 days until our two year wedding anniversary! I ♥ him.
Visits Today: 8
Visits Since 10/22/09: 1198
Top OS: Page: Home
Top Browser: Page: Home
Bad Behavior has blocked 40 access attempts in the last 7 days.